Restless on These Pills

[Verse 1]
Ceiling fan spinning like a loose thought
Phone face down
But it still talks
Friends say “call me if you need”
I ghost ‘em
Then I bleed
I pace ruts in this small room
Same four walls
Same half-moon
Sometimes I’m wired
Sometimes I’m stone
Either way
I’m not at home

[Chorus]
I’m restless on these pills
On these prayers
On these lies
Can’t tell what’s in my head
From what’s outside
They say they’re here for me
I flinch
I fold
I freeze
I wanna trust somebody
But I don’t trust me
I’m restless on these pills
On these shaky beliefs

[Verse 2]
Doctor said letters for the way I am
Gave it a name
Wrote it on a plan
Little white circle on my tongue
Chasin’ quiet
Chasin’ calm
Some nights clear like a country sky
Most nights fog in my own eyes
Is this me or is this dose?
Who’s drivin’ when it hits close?

[Chorus]
I’m restless on these pills
On these prayers
On these lies
Can’t tell what’s in my head
From what’s outside
They say they’re here for me
I flinch
I fold
I freeze
I wanna trust somebody
But I don’t trust me
I’m restless on these pills
On these shaky beliefs

[Bridge]
I want one slow breath
That don’t feel borrowed
One straight road
That don’t bend to sorrow
If I let you in
Will you still stay
When I can’t tell night
From bright-ass day (yeah)

[Chorus]
I’m restless on these pills
On these prayers
On these lies
Can’t tell what’s in my head
From what’s outside
They say they’re here for me
I’m scared they’ll one day leave
I wanna trust somebody
And maybe that starts with me
Still restless on these pills
But I’m trying to believe