FUCKED UP FAIRY TALES

[0:00 - 0:14 - INTRO]
Style Prompt: Tenacious D acoustic comedy rock, crowd noise, single acoustic guitar, building drums
(Laughter)
Time to play the lullaby ... ...
The R-rated one ...

[0:15 - 0:48 - VERSE 1: Little Bo Peep]
Style Prompt: Tragic storyteller, soft to loud Jack Black belt

Little Bo Peep lost her flock of sheep,
Left the damn gate open while knocked out asleep,
Checked her phone, yelled "where the hell did you go?"
They texted back, "bite us, lady, we quit long ago."

[0:49 - 1:25 - VERSE 2: Humpty Dumpty]
Style Prompt: Power chords, anthemic rock opera, gang shouts

Humpty Dumpty perched on that wall,
Wasted off whiskey at last call,
Took twelve shots, acted real tough,
Fell on his ass and got all busted up,
All the king's medics and the king's cops,
Said "stay down, jackass, you have had enough!"

[1:26 - 2:00 - VERSE 3: Jack & Jill]
Style Prompt: Fast bluegrass rock, comedic duet argument

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
Chasing cheap thrills and a little white pill,
Jack tripped hard and cracked his crown,
High out his mind, he ate dirt going down,
Jill tumbled after with drunken laughter,
Snapped "screw this hill and screw you too, I'm calling an Uber, You cheap bastard!"

[2:01 - 2:32 - VERSE 4: Mary]
Style Prompt: Quiet blues, funky bass, sarcastic spoken-word

Mary had a little lamb,
Rent was late, cash in a jam,
That woolly jerk ate her stash, spilled her beer,
She barked "you mooching prick, get out of here!"

[2:33 - 2:52 - VERSE 5: Itsy Bitsy Spider]
Style Prompt: Heaviest riff, double-time, Beelzeboss scream

Itsy bitsy spider climbed the waterspout,
Storm rolled in and flushed that sucker out,
Sun came back and scorched the ground,
And that stubborn shithead climbed again, heaven-bound.

[VERSE 6: Old Mother Hubbard - 2:53-3:18]
Style Prompt: NEW VERSE - Slow, bluesy, broke and pissed-off, upright bass + brushed snare, Jack Black at his most sarcastic, Kyle whistling in background like a sad empty fridge

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard,
Bare as hell, broke-ass, totally robbed,
Went to get her poor dog a bone,
Fridge was empty, just mold and foam,
She said "screw this shit, we're ordering out,
This cupboard can kiss my ass, I'm tapping out!"

[OUTRO CHORUS: 3:19-3:55 - NOW LONGER FINALE]
Style Prompt: FULL BAND EXPLOSION, acoustic to electric, organ pad, gang shouts, final Jack Black scream

Hush now bullshit, go to sleep,
Life's a motherfucker and the bills run deep,
Raise a glass and say "fuck it all" -
We're all just Humpty waiting to fall!
Peep lost her sheep, Hubbard lost her grub,
Same damn story down at every pub!
YEAAAAH!

[FINAL FINAL OUTRO: 3:56 - 4:25 - GOODNIGHT YOU BASTARDS]
Style Prompt: Tenacious D lullaby ending, music box acoustic fading, Jack Black half-whisper half-roasted, Kyle snoring in background, soft kick + shhh

Alright, lights out, you filthy animals...

Goodnight Bo Peep, you lazy-eyed sheep-loser,
Goodnight Humpty, you drunk egg-shaped bruiser,

Goodnight Jack, you clumsy dickhead,
Goodnight Jill, you mouthy mess in that hill bed,

Goodnight Mary, and your asshole lamb,
Goodnight Spider, you stubborn little scumbag,

Goodnight Mother Hubbard, broke-ass in the cupboard,
If your dog's still hungry, tough shit, I'm fucked off to bed.

Now shut the fuck up and go to sleep,
The bar is closed, you bunch of broke-ass creeps.

Comedy Rock Opera / Acoustic Power Duo in the style of Tenacious D
Theatrical, raunchy, funny, epic, like Jack Black telling bedtime stories after 6 whiskeys. Half storytelling, half arena rock sermon.
Vocal: Lead male vocal. Starts as sarcastic spoken-word storyteller, builds to full-throated belting, raspy screams, high falsetto "YEAAAH!", comedic timing, low harmony/backing "dude" ad-libs.
Tempo / Key: 92 BPM, Key of D Major, 4/4 with half-time breakdowns
Instruments:

Main: Bright steel-string acoustic guitar - aggressive strumming, picked intro
Second verse in: Crunchy classic rock electric guitar (Les Paul + Marshall), power chords
Bass: Punchy, dirty, picked rock bass - follows acoustic, gets funky in Verse 4
Drums: Big live kit - tight kick, snare crack, tambourine on chorus, tom fills before each drop
Extras: Gang shouts, hand claps, cowbell in Jack & Jill verse, church organ pad in final chorus for epic lift
Mix: Dry, live garage , not over-produced. Vocals front and center.