Grim’s Petting Zoo & Buffet

[Intro]
Step right up
Don’t be shy now
Welcome to Grim’s
We keep it filthy

[Verse 1]
Under this big red top
We’re grinning
All you can eat
All you can sin in
Ladies
You’re VIP
Get in free
Fellas
Seventy-nine ninety-five
Come see me (hey!)

We got cuddly things
Soft and warm
Nothin’ here follows the farm code of form
Only reptile on this whole damn floor
Is that one‑eyed worm you smuggled in your drawers

[Chorus]
Welcome to Grim’s Petting Zoo & Buffet
Grab what you like
“all you can” means all day
Free for the ladies
They laugh and they flirt
Men
You paid at the door
Now dive in the dessert
(one‑eyed worm on the loose, oh lord)
No plates required
Just hands and curves to squeeze
All you can eat
Baby
But no teeth please

[Verse 2]
Ringmaster hat
Crooked on my head
Reading that sign you pretended you misread
“Family show?” Not tonight
My friend
This is the kind of ride that bends at the end

Popcorn
Cotton candy
Sugar on the tongue
Older ones nasty
Younger ones young-at-heart sprung
Line up
Zip down
Step into the light
If it blinks when it winks
It’s getting fed tonight

[Chorus]
Welcome to Grim’s Petting Zoo & Buffet
Grab what you like
“all you can” means all day
Free for the ladies
They purr and they tease
Men
You paid at the door
Now fall to your knees
(one‑eyed snake wants a snack, oh please)
No plates required
Just lips and lazy knees
All you can eat
Baby
But no teeth please

[Bridge]
[Call-and-response with crowd]
I say “one‑eyed” — you say “worm”
(one‑eyed!) worm! (one‑eyed!) worm!
I say “dig in” — you say “serve”
(dig in!) serve! (dig in!) serve!

Under these lights
Everything slides
Grim’s little circus of appetites
So ladies
Feast
Fellas
Pray
That your ticket lasts all night

[Chorus]
Welcome to Grim’s Petting Zoo & Buffet
Sin on a stick
We don’t do halfway
Free for the ladies
They ride and they tease
Men
You bought the dream
Now beg them “more
Please”
(one‑eyed worm taking turns, oh jeez)
No plates required
Just heat and sticky knees
All you can eat
Darling—just… no teeth
Please