Be Slow to Raise Your Zipper

[Verse 1]
Morning rush
Half awake
Coffee breath
You still shake
Buttons done
Shoes all tied
Then that tiny metal ride

Little teeth
Made of steel
One quick zip
That’s the deal
But one slip
One wrong tug
You’ll be dancing
Screaming
Snug

[Chorus]
Be slow to raise your zipper (hey!)
Think twice before you pull
Guard the family treasures
Treat that fabric like it’s full
Be slow to raise your zipper (hey!)
Use your fingers
Take your time
Every careful
Gentle second
Saves a lifetime of that climb

[Verse 2]
Locker room
Running late
Friends all shout
“Hurry mate!”
But your future’s on that line
Not just pride
Your tender shrine

Pinch of skin
Sudden sting
Tears well up
You can’t sing
There’s no hero in the haste
Only ice packs on your waist

[Chorus]
Be slow to raise your zipper (hey!)
Think twice before you pull
Guard the family treasures
Treat that fabric like it’s full
Be slow to raise your zipper (hey!)
Zip with wisdom
Zip with care
Little pause before the closing
Keeps the pain out of your underwear

[Bridge]
Fathers
Brothers
Every son
This is not
A joke for fun
Join the pledge
Right hand up
“Check the coast before you tuck!” (hey!)

[Chorus]
Be slow to raise your zipper (hey!)
Think twice before you pull
Guard the family treasures
Treat that fabric like it’s full
Be slow to raise your zipper (hey!)
Sing it loud in every land
Careful zipping
Careful living
Happy guys who took a stand