The Shed

(Verse 1)
Well James opened that box, thought, “Two hours? That’s alright…”
But five hours later he was sweatin’ in the fading light.
Galina bought it from Argoss, said “It’s easy, babe, you’ll see,”
But that shed had more pieces than a flat‑pack PhD.
Bella ran off with the brackets, Spud stole the screws again,
Bruno climbed in the cardboard box like a retired old gentleman.
James shouted, “These bloody dogs!” while blaming every tool in sight,
And the shed still looked the same as when they started that night.

(Chorus)
Ohhh James got no patience, no patience at all,
Says it’s all Galina’s fault for buyin’ a shed, was her call.
He’s rantin’, he’s ravin’, he’s blamin’ her left and right —
Got them no‑patience, shed building blues tonight.

(Verse 2)
Galina grabbed the screwdriver, said, “Here, let me try.”
But she had it on turbo‑mode — screws flew like they could fly.
James yelled, “Slow down, woman!” while holding on for dear life,
You’re using that screwdriver, the way you bloody drive..
Panels flappin’, dogs nappin’, instructions written by a clown,
James muttered, “If this thing had a roof, I’d burn the whole thing down.”
But the sun was droppin’ lower, and the rage was burnin’ high,
So they packed it all away with a frustrated little sigh.

(Chorus)
Ohhh James got no patience, no patience at all,
Says it’s all Galina’s fault for buyin’ that, was her call.
He’s rantin’, he’s ravin’, he’s blamin’ her left and right —
Got them no‑patience, shed building blues tonight.

(Verse 3)
They headed to the pub, thinkin’ beer would ease the pain,
Sat down for West Ham’s match… but misery came again.
Three‑one down and sinking, pint glass nearly cracked,
James said, “This day’s cursed — and that shed ain’t comin’ back.”
Galina laughed and nudged him, “Tomorrow we’ll try once more.”
James said, “Only if we lock the dogs outside the door.”
But deep down he knew the truth, though he’d never confess it clear —
He’ll blame Galina forever… but he loves that woman dear.

(Final Chorus)
Ohhh James got no patience, no patience at all,
Says it’s all Galina’s fault for buyin’ that shed, was her call.
From plastic panels to West Ham losin’ the fight —
He’s got them no‑patience, blame‑Galina blues tonight.

Playful, Male Vocals, Moderate (76-108 BPM), Indie Pop, Acoustic Guitar