Raise Your Zipper Slow

[Verse 1]
I once was a proud young sailor
With trousers tight and neat
Till one black night in Bristol
I felt that burning heat
Was rushing back from shore leave
Too eager for my bunk
One angry little metal jaw
Turned me from man to monk

[Chorus]
So raise your zipper slow
Me boys
Raise your zipper slow
Guard the mast that steers your ship
From cruel and biting jaws below
Treat that sailor kind and soft
Or you’ll weep where you once would glow
Take a breath
Count to four
And raise your zipper slow

[Verse 2]
I danced with Molly Murphy
Her hands were everywhere
We stumbled through the alley
Salt and smoke in the air (ohhh)
I yanked those britches upwards
Like hoisting canvas high
Then screamed so loud the harbor rats
All answered with a cry

[Chorus]
So raise your zipper slow
Me boys
Raise your zipper slow
Guard the mast that steers your ship
From cruel and biting jaws below
Treat that sailor kind and soft
Or you’ll weep where you once would glow
Take a breath
Count to four
And raise your zipper slow

[Bridge]
The doctor shook his weary head
Said
“Son
You’re not alone
I patch up rushing fools like you
‘Fore breakfast
Lunch and home”
Now every green deckhand I see
I grab him by the sleeve (hey!)
“Mind your gear when nights are cold
Or you’ll sing this song and grieve”

[Chorus]
So raise your zipper slow
Me boys
Raise your zipper slow
Guard the mast that steers your ship
From cruel and biting jaws below
Treat that sailor kind and soft
Or you’ll weep where you once would glow
Take a breath
Count to four
And raise your zipper slow (one more!)
Take a breath
Count to four
And raise your zipper slow